If you are unable to have an influence on your child, it can be said that parenting becomes almost impossible in this scenario.
It is the nature of children to explore things around them as they grow up. Here, they would expect their parents to be with them along in this way of exploration. Surely, it would be impossible to control the lives of other, even our kids, but it’s the connection that keeps the influence of parents over children intact.
The most common reason children would stop looking at us is that they might think of us being unavailable for them, we don’t listen to them, we don’t understand, or we just don’t care.
It doesn’t really mean that our method of parenting is wrong. It could mean that the child is not learning things like others. It could also mean that the child wants to do exactly what he wants without caring for anyone else. Here, you can look at this attitude as an opportunity to learn new things as a parent. You should be ready to accept the challenge of raising a kid who is ready to sacrifice the relationship with his parents to get what he wants.
So, how can you strengthen the relationship with your child of this nature? The answer is you need to improve connection by being available to the child. It doesn’t absolutely mean that you should start agreeing to what child says. Rather, you will need to make the child believe that you understand things from his/her perspectives. This way, the child would also start believing that you are there for them no matter how and no matter what.
- First, you need to think about the things like your child does. The benefit of doing so is that you will be able to tell your child in a better way that he doesn’t get to achieve everything just because he wants it.
- Surely you want to set the limits. That’s what the parents should do. But make sure that you are setting these limits with empathy. This is an effective way of letting the child know that you have an understanding of things in a way that of your child.
- There is no doubt about the fact that you know better than your child. But sometimes, you cannot insist on being right. You need to hear out what your child has to say and then you can offer a solution that pleases the both. Offering such win-win solutions will teach your children to involve other people in the decision making process.
- You want your child to regulate emotions. For this purpose, you need to welcome the child’s emotions of anxiety, fear and sadness.
- If you are able to look at the positives inside your child even if he has done something wrong, that’s the best thing you can do with your child. This way, the child will start believing of himself/herself being a good person, and that will ultimately encourage the child to prefer good deeds.